Monday, August 29, 2011

A new definition


past tense of procrastineat

ex: I procrastinate a sandwich last night because I didn't want to start working on my Religion paper.

p.s. I was not aware (but also not surprised) that someone already came up with the term, "procrastineat". I just happened to look it up after I started making this post.

Also, I would make a more detailed description, but I feel like I should stop procrastiblogging and start this Religion paper that's due tomorrow.

Some Thoughts

Someone outside my window just said "It's pretty safe. Go ahead and pull the trigger". Hopefully, that wasn't the precursor to an accidental gunshot wound outside my apartment.

My mom dropped off some a bunch of yogurt the other day. It's all raspberry flavored... that's my least favorite flavor. Now that I ate all of the good yogurt, I only have raspberry left :'(

I was wondering why it was so hot in my room all weekend. Apparently, the air-conditioning was off.

I went to Hot Topic the other day (don't judge me... they have good sales) and the store was full of Lil Wayne and Waka Flocka Flame stuff. Maybe I'm out of the loop, but since when was Hot Topic the go-to place for commercial hip-hop merchandise?

My clothes purchasing has slowed almost to a halt. I still shop a lot, but I've only bought like four clothing items since May (two shirts, some running shorts, and some shoes... I used a gift card for the shoes). This would be good thing if it was a result of changing attitudes about saving money and being happy with what I have, but I think it's actually a sign of increasing indecisiveness. Another sign of this trend is the amount of time it took me to decide which word I should use to describe my decisiveness (it took about two minutes for me to settle on 'increasing').

I ordered a book on Friday that I wanted to arrive today because I need to read it and write about it for tomorrow. I checked online and it said it hasn't been shipped yet. wtf? What kind of super-fast shipping method sends things out after noon and delivers them the same day? I'm going to be very unhappy if I don't get this book today.

The weather guy on TV just said that the weather in Houston was like "stepping into a freshly worn gym sock and then stepping into the microwave". I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds unpleasant.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

90 '90s Party Songs

I don't want to come off as some sort of music elitist, but a lot of current music sucks. I think dance/party music has been hit particularly hard by this trend of suckiness. I can stanky leg and dougie with the best of them, but I can't seem to get into this new techo-R&B club stuff that's all over the radio. It's okay but it doesn't make me want dance. Anyway, I thought I'd take a little vacation today to a time when shiny suits and flannel shirts (hopefully not in the same outfit) were in style, and the bankhead bounce was the hot new dance. Here are 90 party songs from the '90s.

  1. Lil Jon & Bo Hagan - “Drop Them BoesSo So Def Bass All-Stars III (1998)
    -This song is the reason I made this list. Before crunk juice and songs with Usher, Lil' Jon was killin' it on some gutter ish.

  2. INOJ - “Love You DownReady for the World (1998)
    -For the longest time, I thought she said "too damn dope for me". I was like, "I think you're pretty dope". Anyway, this is a fun cover song.

  3. Ghost Town DJ’s -“My BooSo So Def Bass All-Stars I (1996)
    -Another classic from the So So Def Bass All-Stars series.

  4. K.P. & Envyi -“Swing My Way” (1998)
    -This is kind of a forgotten classic. It only recently came to my attention again when Charles Hamilton sampled it for "Brooklyn Girls".

  5. Blackstreet – “No DiggityAnother Level (1998)
    -What '90s list would be complete without "No Diggity"? Blackstreet had a lot of good songs, but none as epic as "No Diggity".

  6. 69 Boyz – “Tootsee Roll199Quad (1994)
    -I have no idea what the butterfly is and I don't think anybody cared about it after this dance came out.

  7. Freak Nasty – “Da DipControversee… That’s Life… And That’s the Way It Is (1996)
    -I never really understood how to do da dip, but the song is so catchy, it doesn't even matter.

  8. Montell Jordan – “This Is How We Do It This Is How We Do It (1995)
    -Like "No Diggity", this is a certified '90s classic. I would much rather listen to Montell Jordan sing about Friday night than Rebecca Black.

  9. Tupac (feat. Dr. Dre and Roger Troutman) – “California Love (remix)All Eyez on Me (1996)
    -Honestly, Roger Troutman could read the newspaper (as long as he used the talkbox) and it would be funky. Add some Tupac and Dr. Dre and you have a hit. Also, lol at Chris Tucker in the video.

  10. Notorious B.I.G. (feat. Puff Daddy and Ma$e) – “Mo Money Mo ProblemsLife After Death (1997)
    -"Put your rollies in the sky. wave 'em side to side". Shiny suits, Ma$e, a verse from the late great Notorious. This was definitely Bad Boy Records in its prime.

  11. Quad City DJ’s – “Space JamSpace Jam (1996)
    -The Space Jam Soundtrack is one of my most prized possessions. I don't even like Michael Jordan, but I bump that CD on the regular. Recognize a jam when you hear it.

  12. Cypress Hill – “Insane In The BrainBlack Sunday (1993)
    -B-Real has one of the most distinctive voices in Hip Hop (I think it's a three-way tie between him, Mystikal and Canibus). It definitely makes the song sound more crazy.

  13. Outkast – “Rosa ParksAquemini (1998)
    -I was trying to find a way to fit Outkast into this list. Most of their songs were really chill and mellow, but "Rosa Parks" is definitely an uptempo jam.

  14. DMX – “Party Up In Here… And Then There Was X (1999)
    -I've pretty much memorized this song. I will jump out of my seat and get hype whenever I hear it.

  15. Bell Biv DeVoe – “PoisonPoison (1990)
    "BBD in full effect". Who needs Bobby, Ralph or Johnny when these three brothers can hold it down like this? New Jack Swing forever.

  16. Sir Mix-A-Lot – “Baby Got BackMack Daddy (1992)
    -If you're not playing this song, something's wrong. It's funny, everybody knows it, and it's from the '90s. It was an obvious choice for my list.

  17. Ol’ Dirty Bastard – “Shimmy Shimmy YaReturn to the 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version (1995)
    -I had to include a track from the wild one in the clan. I like my raps raw and this song delivers. RIP, ODB.

  18. Thug Life – “Shit Don’t StopThug Life: Volume 1 (1994)
    -Tupac's second appearance on the list. This time, it's with a little help from his Thug Life group members and dope funk sample.

  19. Bustah Rhymes – “Bus-A-Bus (remix)Violator: The Album (1999)
    -Violator: The Album is another hidden gem. I've got a few tracks from there on this list and there's plenty more that I didn't include.

  20. Luniz – “I Got 5 On ItOperation Stackola (1995)
    That beat! Everything else by the Luniz is average, but this track track is on a higher plane than the rest of their material.

  21. Redman – “I’ll Bee Dat!Doc’s Da Name 2000 (1998)
    -"If you're gonna be a monkey, be a gorilla". gorillas are not monkeys, but this is one of my all-time favorite Redman songs. Also, the video has a lot of the lyrics changed but it's funny so I linked it.

  22. Jay-Z (feat. UGK) – “Big Pimpin’” Vol. 3… Life and Times of S. Carter (1999)
    -We need pimpin', drug-dealing, bucket hat wearing Jay-Z back. I'm tried of hearing him talk about high fashion and crappy basketball teams.

  23. Will Smith – “Getting Jiggy Wit ItBig Willie Style (1997)
    -fun, clean, but still kind of cool. That's what we love about Will Smith.

  24. House of Pain – “Jump AroundHouse of Pain (1992)
    -Before Everlast had crappy music and beef with Eminem, he put out this great song with House of Pain.

  25. Ahmad – “Touch The CeilingAhmad (1994)
    -This album is so underrated. Classic '90s west-coast lyricism. There's actually several party songs, but this might be my favorite.

  26. Dr. Dre (feat. Snoop Doggy Dogg) – “Nuthin’ But a “G” ThangThe Chronic (1993)
    -Dre, I'm still waiting on Detox to come out. Until then, I'll have to make due with some classic g-funk.

  27. Mysonne', Ma$e & Eightball – “Do What Players DoViolator: The Album (1999)
    Another Violator track. Back before Ma$e turned to God and then turned back to hip hop, he was master of the slow flow.

  28. Coolio – “Fantastic VoyageIt Takes a Thief (1994)
    -Everybody knows "Gangster's Paradise", but everybody ought to know "Fantastic Voyage". Coolio actually kicks some conscious lyrics while still making a dance-able song.

  29. Mary J. Blige - “Real LoveWhat’s The 411? (1992)
    -My favorite Mary J. song. It's just so happy and fun.

  30. Brian McKnight - “On The Down LowI Remember You (1995)
    -No, not that down low... at least I don't think so. A jam about secret love is perfect for the dance floor.

  31. Big Pun (feat. Joe) - “Still Not A PlayerCapital Punishment (1998)
    -Big people need love too... and from the lyrics, it sounds like Pun got more than his fair share.

  32. Q-Tip – “Vivrant ThingAmplified (1999)
    -I don't know what a vivrant thing is, but it sounds cool when Q-Tip raps about it.

  33. Tevin Campbell – “Tell Me What You Want Me To DoT.E.V.I.N. (1991)
    -Call me soft if you want, but every party needs slow jams. Also, my mans is killin' the high notes.

  34. Brownstone – “Pass The Lovin’From The Bottom Up (1992)
    -Yo, Brownstone was raunchy. These ladies don't play around. Still, they came off really smooth and danc-able with this song.

  35. Wu-Tang Clan – “Ain’t Nuthin’ Ta Fuck WitEnter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) (1992)
    -This is some wild-out, go buck music. The Wu was takin' bodies with this one.

  36. Outkast – “SouthernplayalisticadillacmuzikSouthernplayalisticadillacmuzik (1994)
    -Like I was saying, most of Outkast's '90s songs were more smooth and mellow. Still, this one's got just enough funk for the dance floor.

  37. Pharoahe Monch – “Simon SaysInternal Affairs (1999)
    -It's too bad this album's out of print due to copyright issues because it's full of end-to-end bangers. That illegal Godzilla sample was a gift and a curse.

  38. Capone-n-Noreaga – “Capone BoneThe Ware Report (1997)
    -Capone-n-Noreaga on some smooth flowin' type ish.

  39. Snoop Dogg – “Gin and JuiceDoggystyle (1993)
    -"Laid Back with my mind on my money and my money on my mind". I think this was Snoop's best album.

  40. Juvenile (feat. Mannie Fresh and Lil Wayne)– “Back That Azz Up400 Degreez (1998)
    -Before relationships got strained and Lil' Wayne got lame, Cash Money was a hit factory. Also, peep Lil' Wayne's alleged first ever use of the term "drop it like it's hot".

  41. Mark Morrison – “Return of the MackReturn of the Mack (1997)
    -I don't know what to say besides... this is ill.

  42. Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz – “Déjà Vu (Uptown Baby)Make It Reign (1996)
    -"If it wasn't for the Bronx, this rap s--t probably never would be goin' on"... true. This song certainly caries the torch. Also, smh at Wyclef recycling the intro on "Hips Don't Lie"

  43. Skee-Lo – “I WishI Wish (1995)
    -Music doesn't always have to be serious. Skee-Lo has jokes, beats and a nice flow. I dig it.

  44. Wreckx-N-Effect – “Rump ShakerHard or Smooth (1992)
    -Not really much to say about this song. I don't love it, but it definitely makes me think of the '90s.

  45. Naughty by Nature – “O.P.P.Naughty by Nature (1992)
    -When has a Jackson 5 sample ever sounded this hard? And for the record, I am not down with O.P.P.

  46. Digital Underground – “Humpty DanceSex Packets (1990)
    -"I'm funky, I like my oatmeal lumpy". Everybody knows the song, but nobody knows the dance.

  47. Kriss Kross – “JumpTotally Krossed Out (1992)
    -"'cause inside out is wickity wickity wack". I will never wear my clothes backwards, but I'll always jump when I hear this song.

  48. Usher – “Nice & SlowMy Way (1997)
    -Another slow jam. Usher has had the ladies fantasizing for over a decade. Also, Usher's rap is kind of dope.

  49. DJ Kool – “Let Me Clear My ThroatLet Me Clear My Throat (1996)
    -Another classic beat. Also, this was recorded live at a party so it's got the right vibe and energy.

  50. Tag Team – “Whoomp! (There It Is)Whoomp! (There It Is): The Album (1993)
    -I wanted to put "It Takes Two" on the list, but that was from the '89. This is almost as good... but not quite.

  51. Quad City DJ’s – “C’mon N’ Ride It (The Train)Get On Up and Dance (1996)
    -"Space Jam" and "C'mon N' Ride It"... Quad City DJ's had the '90s on lock.

  52. Destiny’s Child – “Jumpin, JumpinThe Writings on the Wall (1999)
    -I miss old-school Destiny's Child. LaToya and LaTavia > Michelle any day of the week. No offense, but it's true.

  53. Destiny’s Child (feat. Wyclef)– “No, No, No Part 2Destiny’s Child (1998)
    -Another dope song from the Original Destiny's Child lineup. Also, does anybody else remember how Wyclef was involved in every late '90s hip-hop or R&B album? One more thing... check this out.

  54. Ginuwine – “PonyGinuwine… the Bachelor (1996)
    -Hot beat by Timbaland.

  55. Junior Mafia – “Player’s AnthemConspiracy (1995)
    -Just a classic, smooth, party song.

  56. Master P – “Make ‘Em Say Uhh!Ghetto D (1997)
    -Back before Master P was acting on Nickelodeon, he was reppin' hard for the dirty dirty.

  57. Mariah Carey – “FantasyDaydream (1995)
    -For some reason, I like this version better than the remix. Also, I think this was a nice use of the "Genius of Love" beat.

  58. Pras (feat. Ol’ Dirty Bastard & Maya) – “Ghetto SuperstarGhetto Superstar (1998)
    -I may not have liked ODB on the "Fantasy remix", but he comes correct on this track. Also, what ever happened to Pras and Maya?

  59. MC Hammer – “U Can’t Touch ThisPlease Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em (1990)
    -What can I say? In the late '80s and early '90s, Hammer was untouchable... and then he went bankrupt.

  60. 95 South – “Whoot! There It IsQuad City Knock (1993)
    -I actually like this better than "Whoomp! (There It Is)".

  61. 2 Live Crew – “Shake a Lil’ Somethin’Shake a Lil’ Somethin’ (1996)
    -2 live Crew: pioneers of the Miami Bass sound.

  62. Camp Lo – “Luchini AKA This Is ItUptown Saturday Night (1997)
    - on dat 1970's pimp movies re-interpreted with '90s hip hop flavor tip.

  63. Black Sheep – “The Choice is Yours (Revisited)A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing (1991)
    -Before it was the soundtrack for dancing hamsters in Kias, this was a classic jam from the black sheep of the Native Tongues collective.

  64. Timbaland & Magoo (feat. Missy Elliott & Aaliyah) – “Up Jumps da BoogieWelcome to Our World (1997)
    - I only recently hear this song, but I thought I should include it because it has nice contributions from Missy Elliott and Aaliyah.

  65. Usher – “You Make Me WannaMy Way (1997)
    -Another classic hit from baby Usher.

  66. 112 (feat. Lil’ Zane) – “AnywhereRoom 112 (1998)
    -Whatever happened to Lil' Zane? I guess there was only room for so many "lil'" rappers.

  67. L.V. (feat. Treach) – “Throw Your Hands UpI Am L.V. (1996)
    -good west coast summertime barbecue song. Also, Will Smith sings this on the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.

  68. Boyz II Men – “MotownphillyCooliehighharmony (1991)
    -I don't really get down with most of the Boyz II Men slow-jam, harmonizing, Christmas song stuff... but "Motownphilly" is a good, uptempo song. Also, you can never have too much new jack swing.

  69. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince – “SummertimeHomebase (1991)
    This is from way back when Jazzy Jeff was the real star and Will Smith was just his sidekick. Another classic summertime barbecue song.

  70. The Notorious B.I.G. – “HypnotizeLife After Death (1997)
    -Biggie's first two albums ruled. I guess that's why he was so paid.

  71. Ice Cube – “Check Yo Self (The Message Remix)The Predator (1992)
    -Ice Cube brings the hard, ferocious lyrics on this one. He actually disses several of the other rappers on this list, but the "Message" beat is what makes this a party song.

  72. Masta Ace – “Born To RollSittin’ On Chrome (1994)
    I wasn't sure if this was a cruising song or a party song. Either way, the bass will make you nod your head.

  73. Snoop Doggy Dogg – “Who Am I (What’s My Name)?Doggystyle (1993)
    -This whole album is chock full of George Clinton references. This s G-funk at it's finest.

  74. Dr. Dre – “Keep Their Heads Ringin’” – Friday (1995)
    -This was a dope song from a dope soundtrack to a dope movie. It was a no brainer.

  75. DJ Quik (feat. 2nd II None & El Debarge) – “Hand in HandRhythm-al-ism (1998)
    -I had some trouble finding the right DJ Quik song for this list. Finally, I settled on this one because it's more smooth and polished than some of his other stuff. Also, I like El Debarge.

  76. Lauryn Hill – “Doo Wop (That Thing)The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (1998)
    -Lauryn Hill drops some real, conscious and thought-proking lyrics, but with fun beat and a catchy hook.

  77. Salt-N-Pepa (feat. En Vogue) – “Whatta ManVery Necessary (1993)
    -Holdin' it down for the ladies.

  78. MC Hammer - “Too Legit to QuitToo Legit to Quit (1991)
    -Hammer might have been one of the best (depends on your definition of 'best') hip-hop dancers of the '90s. No wonder his music is so good for parties.

  79. Brownstone – “If You Love MeFrom the Bottom Up (1994)
    -This song is sooo good. I don't know what dance you would do to it, but I had to include it in my list.

  80. Vanilla Ice – “Ice Ice BabyTo the Extreme (1990)
    -"word to ya motha". Vanilla with the dope rhymes and "Under Pressure" sample.

  81. 2pac (feat. Shock G) – “I Get AroundStrictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z. (1993)
    -Another jam from Tupac. This time, he get's a little help from Humpty Hump's alter ego (or is Humpty Shock G's alter ego?)

  82. LL Cool J – “PhenomenonPhenomenon (1997)
    -When he wasn't busy beefing with Canibus, LL Cool J made some pretty good song in the '90s.

  83. Adina Howard – “Freak Like MeDo You Wanna ride? (1995)
    -There is no shame in her game. She straight-up tells it like it is. Also, I like how Ghostface gives her a shout out in "Ice Cream".

  84. Method Man (feat. Mary J. Blige) – “All I need (Razorsharp Remix)Tical (1994)
    -To be honest, every version of this song is good (even the one with Marvin Gaye), but I like this one the best. Method Man was so cool back then.

  85. Twista – “Emotions (Remix)Adrenaline Rush (1997)
    -I don't know how many people mess with '90s Twista, but this whole album is amazing. unfortunately, I can't find the remix online so you'll have to make do with a link to the original.

  86. A Tribe Called Quest – “ScenarioThe Low End Theory (1991)
    -What's the '90s without ATCQ? Also, it's nice to show some more Native Tongues love.

  87. Dr. Dre – “Let Me RideThe Chronic (1992)
    -Another g-funk classic.

  88. Another Bad Creation – “IeshaCoolin’ at the Playground Ya Know! (1991)
    - I don't know how cool it is to dance to little kids singing, but this was a hot song. Also, it's kind of crazy to think that these guys are probably all in their thirties now.

  89. TLC – “CreepCrazysexycool (1994)
    -There are too many great TLC songs to choose from. I picked this one because it's been stuck in my head lately.

  90. Busta Rhymes – “Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can SeeWhen Disaster Strikes… (1997)
    -I should have put more Busta on this list. Back before he was all big and buff, he was just a crazy guy with even crazier videos

    So... that's it. I hope you enjoyed my list. Questions, comments, concerns? I know I left plenty of stuff out. Any ideas of what should be added and what should be removed?

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Lunch of Champions

This is what you eat if you're a boss. Hot sausages, lettuce, cucumbers, carrots and tomatoes with a glass of O.J. (no white bronco tip) to wash it down. Also, you must have a Sedona place mat. If you eat a lunch of this caliber at least once a year, people will respect you as a true champion.

I forgot to post this.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Cool Covers vol. 3



this cover is one more reason to listen to Aloe Blacc

Some Thoughts

Somebody ate all the chocolate, but left the other two flavors in the neapolitan ice cream. What's up with that? Each flavor adds something to the ice cream. If one component is removed, it throws off the balance. If you just wanted chocolate, why didn't you just buy some chocolate ice cream instead of screwing up the neapolitan?

I am three hours early to the airport because I thought the flight was leaving at a different time.... it's 6:19am. My bad

I brought way more pairs of socks in may than I do now in August. Where did they all go?

Shoes are definitely the most troublesome item to pack. Why are my feet so big? Babies have it easy in this regard... but then again, babies don't have to pack.

Everybody's giving me creepy looks at the airport.

The other day, I had to go to the doctor (nothing serious, just wondering why I had a sore throat and stuff. It's allergies) so I biked there. It's sunny and fine out on the way there, but when I leave the office after the appointment, the sky is black and there's hardcore perfect storm-ass monsoon rain coming down. After waiting about a minute to see if the storm is going to pass, I decide to just go for it and bike through the storm. Bad idea. The storm gets even worse and it starts hailing. To make a long story short, I got completely drenched in the storm. My shoes, pants, shirt, wallet, and phone are all soaked. Also, my jeans shrunk from the rain and they got really tight. My phone miraculously recovered, but my shoes are gross now. Moral of the story: Michigan weather sucks.

I lost my comb on the way to the barber shop. That's the third one this summer.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

A song

So... I downloaded Audacity the other day and I thought I'd try recording some stuff. I know it's pretty crappy, but that's the point. Don't expect any of my other songs to be any less crappy. Here's my version of the Scooby Doo theme:

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Cat Tailor

I know I'm not the only person who's bored enough to watch this:

for more interesting (and sometimes creepy and/or sketchy) videos, check out


I may not be a based master chef yet, but I'm definitely working on it. Even though the smoke alarm repeatedly demonstrated its effectiveness at inopportune times, I managed to swag through it and produce a hot, fluffy four-stack of blueberry pancakes. IHOP ain't got nothin' on this:

Seriously though... IHOP is mediocre at best. The only things that make them a solid restaurant choice are that they're open late and they're pretty common. When I'm in the Lansing Area, I usually prefer Flap Jack, and when I'm elsewhere in the country, I generally hit up OHOP or Cracker Barrel.

Friday, August 5, 2011

A Cartoon

After several stop-motion videos, I decided to step up the difficulty level significantly and go for a full-fledged cartoon. After this experience, I'm not sure if I'll do it again any time soon. I spent nearly two days working on this piece of crap and I only ended up with twelve seconds of actual video. Anyway, here it is:

p.s. the song is "Linoleum" by Company Flow from the Little Johnny from the Hospitul album.