Monday, December 5, 2011

Some Thoughts

I saw an extremely obese cat today. It looked like a furry bean bag chair with a head

"you have to have been there at the time to understand it" jokes are no fun if you were the only person there at the time

The guy in front of me in the checkout line at Safeway today paid with a $100 bill. Baller.

Whenever I walk quickly behind a woman at night, she freaks out like I'm some sort of monster or criminal. The same situation happened except for the fact that I was walking behind a man instead of a woman. The only thing he did was turn towards me and say, "you're really haulin' ass there, man!". The point of this anecdote is that women should chill out. I know that the world is a dangerous place and all, but you shouldn't just assume that, just because you're a woman and I'm a fast-walking black guy, it's automatically a bad situation. Maybe I'm not in a hurry because I want to rob or murder you. Maybe I just have stuff to do... or my groceries are really heavy. I hope that wasn't offensive or controversial or anything. It just seems odd how differently men and women act in the same situations.

I spent all this time buying healthy crap at the grocery store today, but yesterday I ate a large pizza for a snack.

I raced a half marathon yesterday (wooh! wooh! it was fun) and I was running right next to this one guy for the first nine miles or so. He seemed like an overall nice guy, but he spat and blew snot rockets for the entire time we were running together. Do you know what it's like to run next to someone as they hawk loogies for forty-five minutes? It's not cool. Also, spitting is kind of one of my pet peeves. I think it's just because I'm not good at it. I won't get into the details, but it never works out for me. As a result, I'm probably subconsciously envious of spitters, and I manifest this envy as hate or something.

Difficult homework problems in a class that's mostly based off of reading and interpreting arguments (as opposed to weird probability story problem things that are on the homework) on the last day of school is not cool. C'mon, son!


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