My Dream

I think all of these Hangover 2 commercials are having a negative affect on me. I just dreamed that I had a house with three roommates (2 of my roommates from last year and some other guy). For some reason, we had two lions in our backyard (the Hangover had a Tiger, which I personally think is cooler, but the amount of big cats in my dream definitely ups the ante, regardless of the species): one male and one female. The female lion had smaller-than-normal head, which indicated diminished brain capacity and increased aggression. As is often the case, my roommates actually had responsibilities and commitments that necessitated having a life and leaving the house. I, on the other hand, was too lazy to schedule anything and therefore had plenty of free time to stay home and feed the lions.

Initially, the cat-sitting was going okay; although it was a little nerve-wracking, the lions were cool as long as I was slow, deliberate, and confidant. However, as the day wore on, continually bringing meat to the yard became a tedious and annoying task (for some reason, the lions in my dream needed food every thirty-minutes). After my final trip to the yard, full of frustration, I hurried back toward the house. Unfortunately, both lions were in front of the entrance.

Sensing my lack in concentration, the male lion lashed out at me (it wasn't a full-out attack, but it was definitely enough to scare the crap out of me). Somehow, I was able to somewhat regain my composure, evade this attack, and make it into the house... but the lions followed me. Channeling my inner bad-ass, I managed to coax the male lion into the kitchen and then lock the door (in my dream, a flimsy kitchen door can contain a 500 pound angry predator). Next, followed by the female lion, I ran upstairs to consult my roommate (throughout the whole ordeal, I totally forgot that the random guy was still home), who was an animal expert.

When I reached him, I tried to explain my predicament and seek guidance, but he was completely preoccupied by his own issues (somehow an aggressive lion with a small head that was waiting outside his room was not his issue); he had an unregistered handgun in his room and the police were on their way. At this point, out of options, scared for my life, hiding amongst the dirty laundry of a gun-toting maniac... I woke up.

Although it took me a little while to convince myself that preceding events were purely fictional, I eventually regained my confidence that I would indeed live to be 20. However, now at 4:10 on the morning of my birthday, I cannot sleep. Maybe it's some residual fear of lions, or maybe it's just adrenaline and excitement for my birthday. Either way, bored as hell, kind of hungry, and still a little afraid to leave my room.